GRIEVING: A WAY TO DEVELOP RESILIENCE

There is no way to sugarcoat what is happening to all of us these days – no one is spared! And when I say “WE”, I am including “Me”. Everything has shifted dramatically in the last several months as a result of Covid-19, the killing of George Floyd and the aftermath. We are socially distant; Churches, synagogues and mosques have closed; businesses have either been burned or closed. In a word, everything is uncertain. More than ever, this is a time that calls for developing resilience – how to stay afloat during this time of stresses, adversities, and challenges.

There is a link on this website for an article that I wrote for The Phoenix Spirit –“Resilience: Needed More than Ever Today.” There I speak of different practices that I have found helpful.

In this reflection, I would like to suggest one more practice. A few months ago, I came upon a book called FINDING MEANING: THE 6TH STAGE OF GRIEF. The writer is David Kessler, who worked with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who developed the five stages of grieving: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. David’s work with people suffering losses has led him to posit a sixth stage: Finding Meaning in the loss.

​Today we are experiencing enormous losses. It is important and necessary to grieve these losses and not deny what we have lost. We need to name our pain as part of our grieving. Kessler also suggests that grieving is something we do not do alone. We grieve and heal as a community, a family, and a village. Resilience is to be found in these communities to which we belong, as we discover we are not alone and find support and hope to move forward.

My hope is that we find people with whom to grieve as we seek to understand and make meaning out of what is happening to all of us at this moment in history. Take good care of yourself and your loved ones.