NEVER MORE NEEDED THAN TODAY: RESILIENCE

I write this article against the backdrop of the spreading impact of the pandemic that is the Covid-19 virus. As individuals, as countries, as a world community: we are confronted with how to respond in the face of the fears, if not panic, that we all to some degree feel. A most important part of our response is RESILIENCE. Over a year ago, I began to write a book on this topic – RESILIENCE: THE ABILITY TO REBOUND ADVERSITY. I had no idea that shortly we would be faced with such an adversity and challenge. I will offer some suggestions for developing resilience in these frightening times.

First, a description of Resilience – it is the ability to prepare for and recover from stresses, challenges and adversities. In this vein, I remember the words of a former pastor who would often say “Change is a given; how we respond is the key.” Challenges, adversities and stresses are often a given – how we respond and deal with them is what resilience is all about. It is interesting that this way of describing resilience emphasizes not only recovery but also preparation for those times. It is too late to close the barn door after the horses have left!

Some people use the image of a battery inn describing resilience – the more our batteries are charged, the more we can do; if our batteries are run down, we are limited in what we can do. This image comes from HeartMath, a group whose work I have come to appreciate in the last year. HeartMath “is a passionate and dedicated people, steadfast in the commitment to provide solutions for activating the heart of humanity…to better recognize and access their intuitive insight and heart intelligence.” (HeartMath, 14700 West Park Ave, Boulder Creek, CA 95006.) HeartMath has been in existence since 1991.
What practices, then, can help keep our batteries charged, helping us prepare for stresses as well as recovering from dealing with them? In a March, 2015 article in Psychology Today, entitled “Why Some People Are More Resilient than Others”, the author, Denise Cummings cites a study that researcher Heather Rusch performed with victims of PTSD. Her study found two important elements in developing resilience: having a sense of mastery and receiving support. I have seen the importance of both in my work as a life coach. Both of these are challenged by what is taking place in relation to this virus.

Mastery is a belief that we have some control over our life situation and circumstances. The virus appears out of control and showing up all over the world. Support also appears more challenging as we are encouraged to practicing social distancing with one another and avoiding places where we usually tend to gather with others – churches, mosques, synagogues, shows , restaurants and bars, sporting events, to name a few. What can we do?
I suggest practicing self-care as an absolute priority now. No matter the restrictions might be, we can practice self-care. I will share a few of these practices I have been found helpful. The first is exercise – basically getting off the couch and moving around. My wife and I have benefited from doing Pilates for many years now. Yoga, walking, and jogging are a few other ways to exercise bodies as well as gardening and shoveling snow. It is moving our bodies.

A second practice relates to sleep & trying to get seven to eight hours of sleep a night. This can be challenging when we are breathing fear and anxieties. Check the internet for suggestions for helping to get deep and longer sleep. About seven years ago, my wife mentioned that I was stopping breathing during the night. I mentioned this to my internist who sent me for a sleep-study. They found I was waking up some forty times an hour. I have been using a sleep machine (CPAP) since and my sleep is deeper. Don’t be afraid to check with a professional if you are feeling tired all the time.
A third practice centers around our diets. I believe we become what we eat and drink. If we eat junk food & drink junk liquids, we become junk; if we eat and drink healthy food and drink, we become healthy. Again, don’t be afraid to check with nutritionists on finding a healthy diet.

The fourth practice is setting aside some time to be mindful about how we are. This means taking some time to slow down and listen and be quiet.. That can be a challenge in our fast-paced society and with all the stimuli from the media. The easiest way to do this is simply to be aware of our breathing and to breathe deeply. This exercise can ground us and relax.
The fifth practice is expressing kindness. I believe a kinder world begins with each of us. This is especially important in a world filled with divisions and polarization. The alternative is showing kindness – both to others and ourselves. Expressing appreciation, gratitude and care are a few ways to exhibit kindness –and don’t forget about yourself.

Support – both giving and receiving – is challenging in a world trying to deal with this virus. I would urge us to take advantage of face-to-face moments with important people in our lives. When these are impossible, I have found telephoning, e-mailing and texting as good alternatives. It is important to communicate about issues more important than the weather or a ball game.
These are my reflections about ways to develop resilience in these chaotic times. Resilience is a quality we need to both prepare for and recover from dealing with our fears and anxieties in relation to this virus. I wish you the best and much resilience.
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-Mark Scannell

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